Hospital Beds
by WisdomFire
Summary: Killian copes with his lack of magic. Emma tries her best to support him.
1. Where It Hurts

**Author's Note: **Hey, everyone! I don't know if posting this is such a great idea considering I have absolutely NO clue where this is headed. But, enjoy anyway. This could possibly turn into a three-shot.

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><p>The desire to protect, the desire to love, and the desire to be loved by someone are all things pirate ship captain Killian Jones has felt at one point in his life. Some emotions are recent, and some have left him long ago, but their memory still remains to this day.<p>

Memories of happiness. His life with his brother, and later, his life with Milah. Times when he felt as if he was less alone. A time before betrayal and also a way to cope with it. He wanted to protect his brother and his love, Milah. But they passed away.

Loss, pain, and heartache found him once with each loss. Both times he masked the pain with rum, strange woman, and long voyages at sea. He would always look forward, but he would never forget what had happened then. He put on a cruel mask and learned to play the part.

That was his identity.

Killian wouldn't admit this but he was deeply afraid of hurting someone, and he felt as if both tragedies were due to fault of his

own. That terrified him. He didn't trust himself, and he didn't trust the world around him. He closed off more of himself, staying that way until he met a woman named Emma Swan.

He remembers it so well. Only four years ago was he taking sides with Cora, trying to weasel himself out of yet another predicament.

She was a bright light to him. He could see the pain behind her eyes, and that made him feel almost safe. Almost sound. Maybe even a little bit whole.

He tried to run- heading back to his old ways of betrayal and distrust -but he didn't get far. Emma was ubiquitous in his mind and everything led back to her. This beautiful, blonde-headed woman, who was strong and courageous at her absolute worst. She made him feel _something_. That feeling of being alive and that feeling of floating on air, both dizzying and ephemeral. It felt real for a moment. The urge to protect, the urge to feel, and the urge and the urge to _love_. The things he missed the most. The things that hurt him in the past. From the moment he felt that, he vowed never to let her go.

But, it wasn't easy. He spent a very long time trying to win her over. ( some attempts more subtle than others ) She trusted him, despised him, and then loved him, in that order, and it wasn't until he gave up his beloved ship that she realized how different Killian had become.

He felt as if he was alive for the first time in a _very_ long time. Her love was something to be treasured and he knew that.

But, now, in the midst of a battle of survival, Killian feels like a burden to his beautiful Swan. He fought long and hard along side Emma, but he was no match for the white dragon's magic. Now he watches Emma as she stands before the beast, fighting for _his_ life. Using her power to protect the ones she loves most, as he bleeds out behind her.

"It's all right, Hook. Hang in there." says Emma, as she creates a translucent force shield with her bare hands.

Comforting words that should bring a sense of calm only seem to stir up panic inside him while he watches the woman work her magic. She hits the beast hard this time.

"Don't worry, Love. You can... handle this." Killian breathes through masked agony, clutching his stomach and fighting for his next breath.

What's pulling him through is a dream. Emma in a white gown, dancing with such grace, being held in his arms.

The very idea makes his heart race, and he wants more of that. More of her. And, he wants to be a father. Not only to Henry, but also a child of his own.

But most of all, he wants to be capable of protecting Emma.

A loud and unwelcome crash brings Killian back to a harsh and dizzy reality, as he tries to stay conscious.

He can hear Emma's father yell her name in the distance, but he can't se straight.

"Emma..." Killian chokes out, falling into a dizzy slumber.

And then he wakes up. A white ceiling greets him with a sore feeling throughout his injured body, and he instantly remembers the last time he was lying in a hospital bed.

Thoughts of Emma are ubiquitous yet again in his half-conscious state. He tries to flip through the memories. His groggy mind begins to wonder What happened to her and, is she okay? Everything leads to her. He wants to keep his eyes open but he barely has the strength to see straight, unaware that she has been by his bedside the whole night.

"Hook, you're awake." Relief pours over Emma like a waterfall.

"Aye, you aren't hurt?"

"Yeah, well don't be too disappointed. I guess this self healing thing is new." She softly jokes with her dazed lover.

"I thought you were, love." He states, his eyes now squinting from the brightness of the hospital room.

Emma lets a small smile appear on her lips as she affectionately strokes the side of Killian's face that isn't bruised.

"I know," She says softly, "I should have done a better job of protecting you, Killian."

"No," He insists through clenched teeth, "I should be _bloody_ capable of protecting you, Emma."

"I don't need protecting." States Emma, blandly as she continues gently stroking his features.

He says nothing in response.

"Killian."

"Let me sleep, Emma."

and so she does.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Like I said, don't really know where I'm taking this. Either way, it won't exceed three chapters. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Lost in the Present

**Author's Note: **Alright, after seeing the latest episode of Once, I think I've figured out where I am planning on taking this story. We'll see. Also, to anyone who has read my other Captain Swan fic, it may be a while before I update it due to editing. Lots of editing. Anyway, enjoy!

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><p>A dull pain makes its home in Killian's lower abdomen, proving it difficult for the man to fall back into his previous slumber. Not even the considerable amount of painkiller, courtesy of Doctor Whale, can take Killian from his thoughts.<p>

Oh, what Killian would do for his flask filled to the top with rum right now.

Just when he thought he was being careful, he finds himself wallowing in his past grief in pain. Dear memories he once thought were long gone are beginning to resurface. That's something he definitely doesn't want. Not after the rocky conversation he just had with Emma, and certainly not while recovering from yesterday's battle.

Vivid memories of both Liam and Milah are playing on repeat nit matter how hard he tries to think of something else. He is cursing his now injured hand for not being able to rub his newly formed tears and himself for letting the saltwater fall.

Killian lets in a deep, shaky breath as he looks back further.

"Why can't I just let it go?" He wonders aloud, now concocting a strange picture in his mind of love, past and present.

Emma and Milah, standing side by side. When he sees Milah, he nearly breaks. Regret flows through him, and the fear reminds him of mistakes long gone. Then he looks at Emma, and bursts with love, affection, and exasperation. He knows exactly why he feels the way he does.

He spent so long feeling as if he was incapable of protecting his brother and his first love, Milah. And now, it seems he and his Swan are running a race to see who can protect her best. Emma is far ahead, and it nauseates Killian so much.

He feels he should be content, but he doesn't know how. His lady can fend for herself and he is well aware. That quality in Emma is something Killian finds incredibly endearing. Although, another part of him calls out from the depths of his mind, reminding him of past failures and his current incapability to even stand.

It genuinely stuns him how it bothers him so much, but he knows his reasons well.

It all started with magic. Being incapable to defend against it. And now, here it is again, gnawing at his conscious thoughts.

He knows her power is strong, but can't help worry. Sometimes for her sake, and selfishly for his as well.

_Maybe Emma was right. She has magic, I have one **bloody **hand._

He swirls deeper into his own delirious cloud of doubt and struggles to ignore his injuries to his body, and also hia mind. All he wants is his Swan back by his bedside, stroking the hair lining his cheek.

But, he pushed her away, and she listened. And, for the past hour that she's been gone, his thoughts are more potent.

When Killian realizes the delirium plauging his conscious thoughts, he makes the decisison to let it go for now. A sense of nostalgia waves over Killian as he fades out of his inner turmoil and finally into morphine induced sleep.

Lucky for Emma, Snow is conveniently waiting outside Killian's hospital room. Her hopeful smile fading rom her rosy pink lips at the sight of Emma's troubled facial expression.

"Did it work? Could you use magic to heal him?"

Emma's brows came together, forming deep creases near the the middle of her forehead. "No." She solemly replies, quickly cascading back into her thoughts.

She searches for the right answer, wanting to avoid her mother's curiosity at all costs. As much as she loves her mother, Killian's buisness is his own.

"I'm fine. Killian isn't." Emma answer's vaguely, although clearly confused. Snow instantly starts to worry, and Emma's attempt at evading to fail. Miserably.

"Is he in pain?" Snow asks.

"Yeah, but I'm not so sure it's because of his injury." Emma gives up, anxious for her mother's opinion on Killian's behaivior.

"What is it then?" Snow's eyes look between Killian's room and Emma, waiting for a response.

"I think he's in pain because of... Me?" Emma pronounces it like a question, reviving a puzzled tilt of the head from Snow.

Emma, not really wanting to explain something she knows nothing about, is delighted when David interrupts their exchange of words. Emma decided that Killian's episode isn't any more than just the pain medicine reaching his head.

"Oh, Emma. How's Killian? I brought him some dinner." David tries his best to sound nonchalant, but Emma knows better. Her father has developed some sort of friendship with Killian over the past year, even if he tries to play it off casually at times. David is genuinely worried and the fact that he cares makes Emma smile.

"Killian's fine," Emma rushes her words, crinckling her nose at the sight of the muddy pink colored tray that balances what appears to be Killian's dinner.

"I'm gonna go find Doctor Whale."

Emma dismisses herself from her parents, and scurries to find Killian's doctor. But, as her boots click through the corridors of the hospital, her mother has other plans. Snow sends David a pointed look, letting him know that something funny is going on, and she's going to fix it.

Emma's blond curls and impatience earn awkward glances from patients when she impolitely peeks into their rooms. In search of Doctor Whale, she forgot her manners.

Emma comes across Whale while he isn't busy and she feels relief when he approaches her.

"Ah, Emma. Just the woman I was looking for. I need to speak with you regarding the extent of Killian's internal injury." Whale gives her a somewhat friendly smile, which Emma doesn't return.

Before Emma can even speak, Snow appears from behind a white wall.

"Hello, Doctor Whale." She greets the man with bright eyes, as she makes her way to Emma's side, "This will only be a minute." Snow takes hold of Emma's leather jacket sleeve, giving her daugher no choice but to comply.

"What, mom?" Emma huffs, vaugley reminding herself of a teenager about to be lectured.

"Why would Killian be upset because of you? Honey, is everything okay?" Snow gets right to the point, hopefully bypassing and of Emma's evasion tactics. But, to her surprise, Emma tells her exactly what Killian said.

"Has he been upset about this before?" Snow inquired.

"If he has, he's never told me about it." Emma shruggs it off, pretending that she doesn't mind. In reality, she wants to be Killian's safe place, just as he has been for her.

Snow affectionately embraces Emma, telling her that everything is okay. "You be there for him if he needs you."

Emma smiles. She will be there. _Always._

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Alright, thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter will be the (extremely fluffy) conclusion to this three-shot. :) Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome, especially regarding in-characterness. Haha.


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